A Break Up
by fryste
Summary: Kurt is upset because Blaine has broke up with him. Finn comforts him, and his brain is in full work. I love Finn's brain.
1. Chapter 1

English is not my main language, be aware!

**CHAPTER 1:**

Kurt is sad. From where I stand hidden at the stairs, I can hear his heartbreaking sobs from his bed. Blaine has just broke up; I get that part from his screaming on all of us when mom asked him to join us for dinner.

What a jerk that boy is, Blaine, not Kurt, obviously. I have to admit I was a bit jealous at them when I was dating Rachel. They _were _cute together, on a way Rachel and I never managed to be. But now it's over. Actually, I can't say I'm surprised. They have been fighting verymuch the last couple of weeks. I mean, once they screamed so loudly that Burt and I heard it when we were watching baseball on the TV. It sucked; it was a pretty good game. I wonder if mom and Burt can hear Kurt now. I hope not, because I wish they would come up and comfort him then. They would, right? I mean, Burt is not comfortable with having a gay-son but, c'mon, he would still try to make him smile if he was sad. And mom loves Kurt very much, I know that. It's like having a daughter, I heard her say to Burt once. Luckily Kurt didn't hear that. I don't think he want to be the girl in the house. I mean, he probably wants to be all girly in school, or he would change, but here. I think he want to have something to talk with Burt about. Like, football or cars or something. Not only that Burt's health sucks and that stuff.

Oh God, Kurt has gone from little sobs to screaming ones. I should get in to him, sit at his bed and talk calmly to him. I really suck at talking like that to people. I tried with Rachel, or well, I didn't have much of a choice because she was really upset, but I was so bad at it that she went up from the bed and searched up her dads. What should I do? Ok, if I say it like_ that_, I know what I to do. I should just go in and make him feel better. But it's something with that thought that makes it difficult. I can't just sit down at his bed and stroke his back, because I'm a dude! And he's a dude to! But still, his boyfriend has just broken up, and I'm his supporting brother. Please God, don't let people know about this, I'm going into his room now.

Ok, so I'm avoiding the pillows on his flooring, he don't like when people walk on them.

"Um, Kurt, can I come in?" I ask silently. He doesn't seem to hear me, which is understandable because the level of sobs in his room is almost as high as the screaming he and Blaine had going. And still, if he should hear me, he doesn't have so much to say about it, because I'm already in his room. "Kurt?" I ask, higher.

I hear him turn his body faced to me in his bed. In the unlighted room I can't see so much, but his eyes are definitely red and his nose is running. Oh, poor Kurt, I can't help but finding myself sitting next to his curled up body and don't knowing what to do with my hands.

"I-I-I just…" He stutters through sobs. "H-h-he…"

I hush him and put a hand on his arm. It didn't work with Rachel, but Kurt can't just run up to Burt and mom and have a panic-attack (it's sad that we can't do that. I wonder if Rachel knows how lucky she is).

"You know, you don't have to tell me. I did just the same when Rachel broke up with me. But it was on the school toilet. And not that loud, actually it was just tears running down my face. And it was just for a minute or two… But, still, I cried! I know how it feels. And now she's dating Puck again. Yeah, they're actually dating now, not just making out in her bed. Which, by the way, is so girly I don't understand how Puck can be in there without become gay", I fall silent for a moment and turns my head to Kurt, who is wrapped in a blanket and have his eyes closed hard, but he have stopped crying. "I mean, it's not a bad thing to be gay, you know that, of course you do…"

"Finn", he says.

"… yeah?"

"Can you stop talking about your self for one minute and feel bad for me?"

I stare at him and he opens his eyes just a little bit and smiles a very, very small smile.

"Oh, Kurt, of course", I say and am silent for a couple of minutes. Then I start babbling again. "Well, Blaine is just a jerk, you know that, right? I mean, he didn't deserve you from the beginning, I always said that!"

"Finn, hush", Kurt says. "Please, just forget about the gayness you think about sometimes and hug me, will you?"

I don't even think about the gayness, yay for me, which I always tend to do, I just lay forward and hug him closely. It's a brother-hug, not something else, because we _are_ brothers. Even if Kurt wanted us to be more than that in our first year in Glee-club. It's actually weird because none of this had happened if it wasn't for Glee-club. If Glee-club didn't exist, I wouldn't be here in the first place, because mom and Burt had never got to know each other; because Kurt wouldn't been in love with me, and I would still throw slushes at his face. Now I know why he hates it, because of all the day-creams he uses which don't work when he gets slushed. I feel bad about what I did back then. Sometimes I have some days when I just sit in my room and miss dad and think of all bad things I've done in my life. They're not so many as Puck's would be, but I'm pretty sure he don't have such days either.

"Now you're thinking again", Kurt suddenly says to mine collarbone, because when we're hugging his head is just where my jaw is.

"What?" I ask him and try to face him, which is not going so well because he has clung really hard at me.

"I can feel that you're thinking. Probably of totally inappropriate things for this moment, that's kind of how your brain works."

Then he chuckles. Just a little and it's that awkward chuckle he sometimes does. But still, it's a sign of that he won't cry no more. Good, I hate crying.

"Yeah", I agree with him, "it probably was inappropriate."

"What was it about?"

He lets go of the arms he had around my back and lies down in the bed again, face to me and pulls the back of his hand under his nose to dry it. I lie down beside him, even if it's totally gay, and puts my hands in-between us.

"I just thought about Glee-club and my dad and Puck… and you getting slushed", I answer.

He puts his hands just beside mine and I take the silent invitation to take his little, soft hands in mine bigger and bolder and squeezes them.

"What's wrong with your thoughts? I mean, normal people should think about how everything just _totally sucks_ for me."

"Yeah, I don't know what's wrong either."

He smiles a little bit and closes his eyes. The room becomes silent for awhile.

"I don't know what to do", he suddenly whispers.

"With Blaine?"

"Yes. With him, I mean, everything… everything just smells of him."

I sniff in the air and can't smell something particular Blaine, but if Kurt smells it, go ahead.

"Like, he gave me that perfume", he point his head to his make-up table where there is a loads of perfumes, so I have no idea of what sort he means, "and he said that Steve Jobs was such an incredible man, so I bought the book about him, and I was about to give it to him today, and now nobody will _ever_ wrap it up and it will be laying on that armchair forever until Carole takes it away when she is about to clean my room and she will give it to dad and then it will just be unloved, you understand? The book will be _unloved_", his eyes flood over with tears and he presses his hands from mine to hide his face instead, "and I really don't care about a damn book, I just… I just…"

The room falls into silent and I have no idea what to say, like I normally don't have. I didn't feel like that when Rachel broke up. I mean, she hadn't so many things in my room, just a t-shirt and a toothbrush in the bathroom, which mom said that she probably wouldn't like to have back. I gave her the t-shirt the next day at Glee-club and everybody understood that we had broke up but it wasn't so much of a big deal. Mercedes hugged Rachel, but she said that it was best for her carrier that way, and everybody understood that she was the one who had broke up, so Mercedes (thank God for that girl!) hugged me instead, and it ended up with a big hug-party. Rachel asked Mr. Shue to be allowed to sing a song, and she sang I'm Sorry with Dilba and it was really cute, and in the end she hugged me and said that she really was truly sorry, and that was it. We're really good friend through. I miss her a bit, if I should be honest, or, I think I just miss to have somebody to love.

"I just still love him", Kurt ends.

"Well, he dumped you like two hours ago, so it would be weird otherwise. Still, I know that it sucks. I think I just got over Rachel, and that _really_ sucks. I don't even know what I saw, and still sometimes; sees, in her."

"If I should be honest", Kurt says, "I don't know either."

We laugh silent; he with tears still in his eyes, but with his hands back inside of mine. After a couple of minutes in silent, I ask:

"Did he say why?"

Kurt opens his eyes (which apparently had been closed again) and looks at me.

"Why he did it?" I nod. "Yes. He said that I don't focus. According to him, I have changed. I'm not good enough for him anymore, I guess."

"You're better than him, Kurt", I say. "And, what does he mean with that you're not focused? You're so focused on NYADA that you don't have time to do other things than studying?"

"Well, I guess that's what he means. I'm not focused on him, on Glee-club, on going on dates and rolling around in the snow with him. Through there is no snow because it's this damn spring. But still."

"Can't he be happy for your sake, that you have dreams, then? I think he's a jerk, if you allow me."

Kurt smiles a bit to me.

"I can't stop you", he says, "and I've got to agree with you right now. He's… he's… I'm just so upset. I… well; everybody could see it coming, didn't they? Everybody except me, I'm such a dreamer."

"That's still a good thing, Kurt", I whisper and squeezes his hands. "It will always be good."

"No! No, it's not!" He gets an angry look in his eyes and clenches his jaws. "I thought we would be together forever, silly, isn't it? I though we would get over it, like we got over other things, like when he was drunk and wanted to have sex with me…" At this disclosure I stare at him and just want to kill this asshole Anderson. I wonder if they actually had sex then. I hope not. "But, it was good. When he were not telling me how much fault I have, and vice versa, everything was just fine. It was, right? It seemed like it was fine?"

He looks at me like he wants an answer and I nod slowly.

"It looked fine", I adds.

"Yes", he gets silent. "It seemed fine. And it was. He told me he loved me so many times. Does he mean that he didn't mean it? Is that what he wants to say? Was I just a play toy?"

"No, Kurt, you weren't", I say. "Of course you weren't. He maybe doesn't love you _anymore_, but he did love you once."

He starts to cry and I realize my mistake with saying that Blaine loved him once. Like it was a half lifetime ago. I let got of his hands and put my arms around him instead, putting my hands on his scapular, pulling him as closely as even possible.

"If I wasn't like the only gay-kid on the earth, or in Ohio anyhow, I would be able to have a one-night stand to get over him, and now I'm just deeply depressed and ready to commit suicide. Like, now."

"You can't while I'm holding you."

"Then you got to hold me all night."

"Oh, I can deal with that."

"You can?" He has a surprised tone in his voice and pulls back to see me in my eyes. "If anyone finds out they will think is the gayest thing you've ever done", he smiles.

"So what?" I say. "But, we have to make a change."

He raises one eyebrow, questioning.

"What?"

"We have to be in my room, because you have no television and its American Pie 2 tonight!"

"You already know all the lines to it", Kurt says while he rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, who cares? It's awesome. You've never seen it. It's a cult. You got to see it before you die."

He sighs and let go of the hug.

"Okay, then, we moves into your room. And see the damn movie", he smiles, "but we need something to eat, like toast and egg."

"What… egg? Seriously? I get the food. You just take your pillows and stuff and make my bed comfortable and start the TV and I fix the rest of the things, ok?"

Kurt stares at me like I'm some kind of mad man, but I have the perfect plan and he have nothing to come up against it, so if he just takes his pretty ass (though, I don't know if his ass is pretty because I've never checked it out) to my bed and have a boy's-night. I'm sure he never had one.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2:**

It's cold in the living room. Burt and mom are sitting under a blanket in the sofa and watching TV, probably a romantic movie, mom loves them, Burt don't.

"So what are you guys up to?" Burt is asking as he takes his eyes from the TV. "We heard you talking."

"Oh, yeah, well, Kurt is really upset about Blaine, so we're going to watch a movie", I answer and am heading for the kitchen.

"Wait!" Burt says and makes mom taking her, tearful, eyes from the TV as well. "Should I talk to him?"

"Of course you should! I've already told you!" Mom says with that accusatory tone in her voice.

"Well…" I say when they both turn to me. "No, not right now, you can talk with tomorrow."

Burt nods in agreement and mom just sighs and turns to the TV again.

"And, yeah, we will be in my room."

Burt looks a bit suspicious at me and raises an eyebrow, just like Kurt usually does (but Kurt's eyebrow is very elegant, Burt's is a bit more unpolished).

"There is no TV in his", I add and enter the door to our kitchen.

I like our kitchen. Not just because I like food, which I do, but because it's like a family's kitchen should be. I think it's the kitchen that makes me comfortable with having this malfunctioning family. I mean, I love them all, even Burt, even I don't usually tell them that, but telling people that is just weird. It's different than before, mom and I have lived alone in our whole life, and suddenly I have a new dad and a brother, who is gay, and a part of the Glee-club. And he has been in love with me. So incredible totally weird.

I'm first thinking of doing some awesome sandwiches, like that one that turned out to be Jesus, but instead I take some ice-cream. It's, according to every single soap opera I had to see at Rachel's and Quinn's house while we were dating, the best break-up medicine. For girls then, I tried it when Rachel broke up with me and it didn't work so well. But still, Kurt is more of a girl than me.

Potato chips too, it's working even if you already feel good. I mean, you feel even greater. Or maybe it's just me. Well, I can need something to feel good too. I mean, I will spend the night in bed with another guy. Ok, Puck and I had a sleepover just a week ago – and later he told me he and Rachel had had sex in the bed… damn him – and we slept in the same bed, but Puck is not gay, neither am I. Actually, we saw American Pie then to. I love American Pie. So do Puck, we're so alike. I'm happy that we're friends again. I mean, I get that it's weird that I've forgiven him for sleeping with my girlfriend, and knocking her up, then making out with my other girlfriend, then taking the same girlfriend after she broke up with me – but, he's my best mate after all. Like, when I was there at the toilet after Rachel had broken up, he actually was standing outside the door and said to me that I should come out. Well, then he asked if he could have her. But still, he's awesome and we go well together.

Kurt needs some chocolate too. He loves chocolate, even if he barely eats it because it's causes spots and makes you fat. Still, this is an emergency and I think he is in need of chocolate. Mom has a big chocolate bar in the fridge, and she will probably hate me little if I take it. But she will get that it's for a good reason. I mean, I'm trying to make my brother feel better. He got dumped for God's sake!

Then we need some Coke. Or, I need some Coke, and Kurt needs some of his fruit drinks or whatever it is that occupying the fridge. I take all of the food on a tray and balance it from the kitchen into the living room, where mom just glances at me and raises up quickly.

"You need some help, honey", she says and that makes Burt stand up too. He's like a dog, but a nice dog (even if most dogs are nice), and do everything she asks for. For that, I just have to love him. He have kept his promise that never, ever hurt mom, and that makes him such a strong man, a guy I want to have as a dad.

"Um, well, I think so…" I say and handle mom the Coke and the fruit drinks – I've taken two, sometimes I've only give Kurt one when we're watching the Sunday-movie on the TV and go into the kitchen to get the crisps, and when I'm back; fruit drink all gone. It's a gift that boy have, I tell you. Well, yeah, I tell you that, brain.

"I can take this one", Burt says and take the chocolate bar and the chip bag. Mom doesn't comment that her chocolate is going to another person's stomach.

We go in an overall troop up the stairs and into my room, where Kurt has cuddle up under my quilt and is laying on what seems to be like ten pillows. It could be more. Kurt loves pillows.

"Here comes…" Mom says and gives the fruit drinks to Kurt, "some of this, and some of this."

She places the Coke on my bed table. Burt lays the chocolate and the crisps on the bed and lean down to kiss Kurt on the forehead.

"I love you, kiddo", he whispers, loud enough for us to hear it too.

Kurt just nods as an answer. I puts the ice-cream in his hand and a spoon in the other.

"Ice-cream helps to everything, some girl in… The Hills, I think, said", I say.

"I didn't know you were watching The Hills", Kurt smiles.

"Well, Quinn is. I got some good advises from there. Hard to forget, you know."

Mom and Burt laugh and disappear from the room. I hear them walk down the stair and go for the living room, probably to keep up with the movie.

"I've got this one to", I say and give Kurt the chocolate. "Thought you would like it, even if you don't eat chocolate."

"You can make an exception, right?" He answers and looks at the chocolate like its a billion dollar-check. I jump up in the bed and take my place beside him after checked that the TV really is started.

It's not a big bed, it's actually smaller than Kurt's, but I've managed to sleep with both Rachel and Puck in it (but not at the same time, of course), and Puck is a pretty big guy, so I think Kurt and I will fit here to.

"So, what's the movie about?" Kurt asks as he eats his ice-cream slowly.

"Oh, it's just four guys, you know. And they are having a party. And it's some sex and stuff. Mostly things like that."

"Lovely."

I laugh.

"Not you're type of movie, I know."

"Are they singing, maybe?"

"Um, no, I think like… not at all."

"Lovely."

He chuckles with me in my laugh. When the movie starts he becomes quiet and watches it with concentration, like he was analyzing every moment. The first commercial comes and I say:

"You know, it's an entertainment, not a get-your-mind-ready-to-analyze-movie."

"There are no such movies", Kurt answers nonchalant. He's eating of the chocolate now. I've asked to have a bit, but according to him; it "just his". Damn him, I fetched the food for him!

"Of course there are!" I claim.

"Name one."

"Well, the Phantom of the Opera."

"Have you even seen it?" Kurt demands to know.

"Yeah, Rachel forced me to on our one month-celebration. It sucked. It was like, a man with a mask, a girl, a lot of singing and a cave – and a cemetery."

"It's a beautiful movie, it seems like you haven't understood exactly. Here, hold my chocolate so I can use my hands when I explain."

He gives me the chocolate and start to explain why I should love the movie. Actually, when I saw it with Rachel, I fell asleep. That's why I just know about the cave with a lot of candle and the cemetery, which I'm not even sure was a cemetery at all. Puck told me that Rachel demanded him to watch the movie with her before they had sex. I'm pretty amused, but surprised, by the thought of Puck and Rachel having sex. I mean, amused of the thought of them having sex, it's kind of like daydream-porn. Rachel is tidy, so it's ok, but by the thought of my best friend having sex with her… I don't know, it should be awkward and pretty gross, but it's quite hot. I mean, Puck is like the hottest guy on the school, so of course it's a nice day-dream. And I'm saying that as totally straight! Oh God, I'm not listening to Kurt at all.

"… and while Christine sees him as the music's angel, Raoul think she is crazy. But Raoul loves her deeply…"

In fact, I'm surprised that Rachel is such a slut now. Well, she isn't a slut, she have only been sleeping with Puck, but she held on her virginity so hard that I thought she would never have sex with anyone more than me… but then she broke up, but I still didn't thought she would have sex with somebody directly. I mean, she could wait just a bit. Not that I'm blaming her, God no, but I'm a bit… hurt. I haven't had sex. It's probably because nobody had offered themselves. It's not like I'm asking people to have sex with me. But if someone would ask me, that's a whole other thing. Like Santana did. Not that I want to have sex with Santana again. I don't think she was so particular good either, Rachel was better. And Santana is dating Brittany now, so even if I wanted to have sex with Santana, I couldn't.

"… and then the Phantom get's crazy, he's the one that loves Christine too…"

Actually, I think it can work between Rachel and Puck. I mean, I think he actually likes her, on real this time. Not just because he needs a Jewish girlfriend to impress his mom, this time he doesn't get anything out of the relationship.

"… but, Emmy Rossum does a wonderful Christine…"

It's kind of weird with the baby, though. I know that Puck loves Beth, and he's sad that it didn't work out with Quinn. But really, she became this crazy person when she didn't get her baby and all that. She should have kept it to herself from the beginning. I mean, it's hard with the money, I understood that during the time I thought I was the dad. But Puck have a job, and Quinn… well, she could have started work herself. And then they would get money from some services, I promise. And Puck's mom isn't that bad, she would come up with something, as long as the kid got a Jewish upbringing.

"… and then he kidnaps her! But that's the way it should be, if you have been unhappily in love with someone you know that…"

But the Jewish part would be pretty hard to get Quinn to agree with, she's so Christian. But still, if she just had retained the baby, she wouldn't have to feel so bad. I mean, I feel bad for her, we all do, and Puck feels bad in his own way (and he's having sex a lot to make that up, like with his daughter's adoptive mom, which is just totally wrong).

"… but in the end, she just got to choose…"

But with Rachel and the baby I don't know. I mean, Puck have said that he still wants to see his kid, but Rachel isn't so fond of it. I heard her say that to Kurt. But, as long as Puck is honest and don't sleep with other girls (well, Rachel shouldn't do that either, but I don't think that's something he have to be worried about) I think they will be fine. I like them as a couple, now when I don't have a crush on Rachel anymore. She's so in love with him that I'm surprised I didn't see it before. I was probably blinded by my own love for her, like Kurt was with Blaine and his fighting. Oh, yeah, Kurt. What's his saying now…?

"… and love is just the thing, really…"

Yeah, love is just the thing. I wonder how long he will be sad about Blaine. And I just wonder how it will be in Glee-club, when Blaine is just all over the place and so… misplaced without Kurt by his side. Actually, I feel bad for Blaine too. Even though I would never mention it to Kurt, he _is_ a bit unfocused on everything but his new school. I mean, it's good that he have dreams, and that he want to become a star, but I'm sure he will even if he doesn't get a place at NYADA. I believe in him and think he's great. I mean, I will probably stay here forever, take over Burt's workshop and get a wife and some kids, but Kurt… he was made to do bigger things than that.

"… Finn?"

I look up at Kurt (he's sitting up and I'm lying down, it's not as he suddenly has grown taller than me), who has become silent.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was listening, I swear", I start to explain, but Kurt holds his hand in the air like a stop sign.

"It's fine. Just give me the chocolate", I place it in his hand, "and share your thoughts with me."

"Well", I smile, "at first I was thinking…"

"Wait, what do you mean with 'at first'? Haven't you listened at all?" He exclaims.

"Of course I have… I just… at first at this… um… I think quick, right?" I babble.

"Just kidding, I know you weren't listening", he smiles.

"Um… right!" I say and sigh inward. "Well, I was thinking about Puck and Rachel."

"They're dating seriously now, aren't they?"

"Yeah, I think so, I mean, they had had sex, so, yeah, they are."

"Oh. I can't imagine Rachel Berry have sex."

"It's a look", I agree.

Kurt smiles but still looks sad all the time, poor boy.

"Then I thought about the baby, you know, Beth… and how Rachel feels about her", I add.

"Yeah, she doesn't think so much of her. I mean, she hasn't met her, but it's like Puck's _baby_."

"Yeah, I know", I say before I think.

"Yes… wait, no, you don't, because that's one thing Rachel only told me. How do you know?"

"Well… I wasn't eavesdropping, it was just that you two were in the choir-room and I had forgotten my drumsticks. It wasn't my intention to overhear you, I swear!"

"Hey, calm down, I trust you", Kurt says. "Have you told Puck about it?"

"Hey, have you been living in a cave like that Phantom-dude?"

"It's a catacomb."

"What?"

"The Phantom lives in a catacomb."

"Yeah, right, whatever. If I should tell Puck then he would dump Rachel immediately or kill her. Or beat her up. Or do all three. Then he would do the same with you, except the break up-part. And then he would probably do the same with me, just to be sure that nobody hated his little girl. Don't you understand how much he loves her?"

"Wow, that's deep."

"Yeah… sure it is."

Kurt takes a bit of the chocolate.

"By the way, do you have any ice-cream left?" I ask him.

He gives me the half-melt vanilla ice and the spoon. I can't share the same spoon as him. Not just him, I just don't like to share things with people. And with that I mean things that's been in their mouth, not just things overall. Like toothbrushes. Even if most people don't like sharing toothbrushes with other people, I think it's really, really disgusting. It's like, eating poop, kind of the same level of grossness.

"Isn't there one more spoon?" I ask. "I really don't like… mouths."

"I beg you pardon?" Kurt takes his eyes from the TV where American Pie is on again.

"Is there another spoon?"

"Um…" He look over the bed table and back at me. "Nope, why?"

"I don't like to share things."

"Yeah, I know that", he says.

"What?" I look at him, pretty confused.

"You don't like to share things", he explains. "Once, I asked you to borrow some money, do you remember? But you were like 'hell to the God damn no, I will never lend you any money as long as we live under the same roof and you aren't half-dead or in need of money to drugs'."

"I didn't say that!" I protest. "I would never give you money if you were an addict!"

"No, but your eyes were saying it", he smiles and look back at American Pie again.

My eyes are darting from him to the spoon. I mean, that spoon have been inside him. Not like, inside him, like Blaine have been, but still, inside him. In fact, Blaine has probably been inside his mouth too. And not just with his tongue. Oh God, if I was thinking just a little of using the spoon it's all gone now. And I'm not even fond of use the same cutlery as someone I've made out with!

"Finn? What the heck are you doing?" Kurt seems one part worried and one part confused. And the rest ninety-eight parts amused.

I can feel the spoon deep inside my mouth. The bad thing with having a brain like mine, I mean, a brain you can actually talk to, is that you do weird things without knowing. Like now, why is the spoon so deep inside my mouth?

"Why is the spoon so deep inside your mouth?" Kurt asks.

He lays a hand on the shaft of the spoon and gently pulls it out of my mouth. Then he places it in the ice-cream. It's gross. Now I've had the spoon inside my without even knowing.

"I don't know", I answer. "Have you…"

He raises an eyebrow.

"Have I what?"

"You and Blaine have had sex, right?" I ask. I bite my lip, because I don't know if it's an ok subject to talk about. Especially _now_, when they're not together anymore.

"Well, yes", he answers. "Why?"

"Well… I just… got this… picture in my head", I admit, blushing madly. This is not an ok subject. I need to stop the conversation right now.

"Oh." He blushes too. "Well, can I ask what kind of pictures? I mean, most of people have wrong about gay-sex."

"No, it should be very nice if you didn't ask that", I answer, smiling though.

"That sound kind of bad", he says.

"Well, yeah."

"Does it have with the spoon to do? Because…" He looks away. "I'm not talking with you about something like that."

"But you have done it, right?"

Did I mention not ok subject? Still I can't just let it go now. It's actually pretty exciting. I can't imagine having sex with another dude at this point in life, but some day I want to try it. To have, you know, just tried it.

"Well." He become silent and stares out in nowhere for a second. "We have", he add and become red, and refuses to look at me.

I look at his profile and try to not think of them having sex. It doesn't work.

"Oh, yeah, of course", I say, "I mean… okay… I… you know, I have no ide what to say, so I'm just going to be quiet."

I can see that he smiles, but he still looks away. I'm taking some crisps and focuses on the movie.

"I should be happy if you didn't tell dad", he say, faced to me again. "I mean, he's barely okay with me being gay, neither sometimes overhearing me and Blaine having sex – if somebody told him the details I'm sure he would completely be nuts."

I laugh at this statement, though it's absolutely true.

"Your secret is safe with me", I say.

He nods and smiles a little at me.

"You're a good brother, you know that, right?"

"You're too, Kurt, an awesome brother", I'm silent for a moment. "Even if you don't seem to like American Pie so very much."

"I'm just waiting for you to go on the toilet so I can put on Singin' in the rain."

I just laugh at him and love him so much when he puts his head on my shoulder and eat on _his_ chocolate.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3:**

It's Monday morning, sunny outside and on our kitchen table there is a lot of food. It's like a small mountain of bread, juice, egg, bacon and these French pancakes Kurt is so fond of. Mom is sitting with her face down at a newspaper while Kurt and I are having a much unfocused conversation about what theme of the week will be in Glee-club. Burt is at his workshop early on order to take care of some costumers that's, in his opinion, better than the rest of them. Its two day since Blaine broke up, and it's the first day in school. It's been an awkward silence in the house these two days. Kind of like we definitely should all hug Kurt whenever we see him-silence. Though we know that if we hugged him every time we saw him he would probably send us to a hospital for mental sick people.

"I think it's something with new music", Kurt claims while he takes the last egg.

"Yeah?" I answer. "And why do you think that?"

I'm chewing at my bacon while I'm staring out through the window at my new car. Actually, it's not that new, and before it was new for me it was used by another person, and probably by another person before that, but still; I have a car. It's a blue cabriolet. It's a car for five persons, but mostly it's just me and Kurt while I drive to school. Kurt of course have his own car (I mean, his dad owns a car-workshop, otherwise would be weird), but he say that he enjoys mine. I think he's just going with me because: a), he's too lazy to drive himself or b), he sees how happy I am to have an own car.

"Because Mr. Schue said something like 'pick a song at the radio and have it prepared until Monday', and I think that is enough evidence", he answers.

"What are you talking about, boys?" Mom asks as she's folding the newspaper. "Is it Glee-club chatter?"

"Yeah", Kurt say. "I'm wondering what Mr. Schue have in thought for the theme this week."

"Oh, that's exciting!" Mom grins. "I think you should talk about it in the car. It's time to go."

Both Kurt's and my eyes turn too the clock and lets out of a gasp.

"Damnit!" Kurt yells. "I have to change clothes!"

He has a very bad habit having breakfast in his pajamas.

"Hurry up!" I shout at him while he runs up on the stairs. "Mom… could you…"

I tilt my head to the mess on the kitchen table.

"Calm down, honey, I take care of this. I mean, it's my day off, I'm just about too playing housewife and clean the whole house!" She smiles.

"You're awesome!" I scream while I'm heading for the stairs that I take two steps at a time.

I run for the bathroom and find Kurt brushing his teeth madly, and start doing the same thing as we watches our self in the mirror. Suddenly, he starts laughing. I do the same.

"We look like we're crazy", he breath while the laughing is making his body shrinking.

"Yeah, that's not unusual", I say and spit the rest of the toothpaste in the basin. A big part of it is on my chin because of my laughter. "Hurry, hurry! I start the car and you take our bags and stuff, ok?"

"Roger that, sir", Kurt answers and washes his mouth with water.

I run down the stairs and scream a goodbye to mom as I open the door, stand in my shoes and take my football jacket and goes to the car. I start it and I can't help but gently touch the control panel, because it's such an awesome car. Kurt come out of the door and jumps in the car and throws our bags and his jacket in the backseat.

"Drive!" He yells and throws a hand in the air.

I laugh and back out of the driveway, turn the car on the way to school and drive as fast as the speed limit allows. And that's way too fast for a road in a neighborhood.

"Okay, maybe not that fast", Kurt suddenly says, looking a bit sick.

"Oh, I'm sorry", I say and slow down a 25 mph.

"It is fine; I just… think you should stop the car so I can puke a bit."

I stop the car in the middle of the road, just outside of Burt's workshop. Kurt opens the door just before he throws up his breakfast on the road. I can hear Burt say a "excuse me a moment" in the telephone that's right next to the open door (which is open, due the hot weather and to show people that they can come in and just get their car fixed right away. Burt says it's a very good way to get costumers).

"Hey, kids, what are you doing?" He screams as he runs up next to the car, almost stepping on Kurts' vomit.

Kurt turns his head to his father, sweat runs from his forehead and he looks very pale.

"We just drove a bit to fast to manage to get us to school in time", I answer, "and then Kurt felt a bit sick."

"Maybe you should stay home today?" Burt asks as he puts his hand on Kurt's brow and looks worried.

"Of course I can't", Kurt says. "Everybody will think that I'm skipping school because of the… because of Blaine. I'm just worried sick of what people think, I promise." He smiles a little. "And Finn really is a terrible driver."

"I most certainly am _not_!" I say but smiles at him. "Ready to drive again?"

"Maybe I should drive, I mean, you're really bad at it", he say seriously.

"What, no, of course not! You're sick; you can drive of the way when you feel that you have to throw up."

"But your driving makes me want to throw up."

"Oh, shut up, Kurt! I'm not that bad!"

"I'm leaving you guys alone to fight about this now", Burt grins. "Good luck in school!"

"Bye dad!" Kurt smiles and turns to me. "Drive, now."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on my way", I mumble and start the car again. "A bit slower this time, maybe."

In the corner of my eye I can see Kurt close his eyes and recline back on the seat.

"I'm not going to throw up again", he says, over and over again, like a mantra.

"Oh, that's good", I say, even if it don't seems like he want an answer.

He probably doesn't want it either, because he's not answering me. Suddenly, we're at the school's parking lot.

"You can go off and go to class and I find a place to park, ok?" I say and stop the car for a moment.

"No, my bag is in the backseat, and I'm not going to stand on my hands and knees to get it."

"… Wait, what?"

"I'm not leaving the car, Finn", Kurt says sharply, face to me.

"Oh, ok, calm down, will you? You don't have to leave."

I slowly circulate around the parking lot, looks for an empty spot. I can't see any.

"There!" Kurt unexpectedly yells pointing at a spot just outside the windows of the classroom we will be heading for after we parked, Spanish.

I'm taking his advice and drive quickly over there, like it was some other (invisible) incredible late person trying to take my place.

"Good driving", Kurt says before he steps out of the car and takes his bag.

He's almost same Kurt as usually now, just a bit paler and with an angrier glimpse in his eyes. I think it will take a while to get that angry face away. It's probably the I've-been-through-a-lot-but-you-Blaine-Asshole-Anderson-takes-the-price-look. Kurt said that I had one, but Rachel edition, after she broke up.

"Thanks", I answer and smiles widely, too make him aware of doing the same. Even if he's not the same Kurt, he has to act like he is.

I take my bag and hurry to catch up with Kurt. He's holding the door for me and we walk to the classroom in silence. I get a feeling that it's a Golgotha-walk (that's something I've learned at Quinn's bible studies. It's not something I actually know about). I'm about to open the door when he puts his hand on my arm to stop me.

"Wait. I just have to get some courage first", he says and smiles sadly. He's breathing in and out a couple of times before he nods. "Let's do it."

I open the door and step inside, Kurt right by my side.

"We're sorry, Mr. Schue, but I think we were overeating our breakfast and then drove too crazy", I explain.

"It's ok, Finn", Schue says and smiles at us. "Take a seat. We're doing irregular verbs today."

By lunch I start getting worried that I haven't seen Kurt since Spanish-class. I'm actually in panic and am running around in the cafeteria until Puck pushes me to the wall and yells, right in my face:

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, DUDE?"

His breath smells of garlic, not nice. But it makes me calm down and I shrink a little, so I'm almost as short as Puck (who isn't short at all, I'm just so awkwardly tall).

"I'm just worried about Kurt, that's all", I answer silently.

We have the cafeterias population's full attention through Puck's scream. It's not as pleasant as it should be. I can see that Mercedes and Rachel are sitting at a table, but no Kurt. Damnit.

"And therefor you got to run as a crazy around the cafeteria and… well… that's kind of what you did", Puck sputters. "What's wrong with him, anyway? He looked all pale and stuff. Is it some kind of make-up?"

"Blaine dumped him", I explain.

"What? Seriously? Should we beat his ass? I mean, he dumped your brother!" Puck looks happy of the thought of getting to beat someone. "Rachel don't like when I beat people up though… But she likes Kurt! And, to be honest, I like Kurt more than that Warbler-dude. He's a snob. Once a snob, always snob. Why was he here in the first place, anyway?"

We go to the football-teams table and take the seats we had before I started to scream and Puck got hold of me at the other side of the cafeteria.

"Well, it's was because of Kurt."

"That's why he transferred? Because of Kurt?" Puck says with his mouth full of food.

"Yeah, Kurt said something like that Blaine didn't want to be apart from the person he loved… And now don't love anymore", I answer.

"That sucks", he says. "Seriously, I would never switch school for a girl. Can you love a person that much?"

"Seem so. But still, it ended, so it wasn't the truest love of them all."

"I don't think that there is true love", Puck says, "just for a couple of minutes, then. When you're having sex, if you didn't copy that."

"I did", I take a bite of a potato, "What about Rachel then? Wait, don't answer, she's coming."

Puck turns around and smiles at the upcoming Rachel. She walks a little bit faster and throws herself in his arms, hugs him tightly before she kiss him like it was the last kiss they would ever share. I have to look away; because that's the way she used to kiss me. Behind them I see Mercedes doing weird faces to them, and can't help but start laughing. I do a discrete thumb-up to her before I get a suspicious look from both Puck and Rachel.

"I've got to go, actually", Rachel says. "Mercedes and I have a duet to practice on, a thing you got to do if you're the greatest stars at the group." She looks down at her sitting boyfriend. "Well, you aren't that bad, Noah, but still… you have to keep in practice to become as good as me, or even as good as Finn. By the way, hey Finn. Goodbye", she says and kisses Puck one more time before she waves and turns to go.

"She's good", Puck says as if she never been here.

"She… well… yeah", I answers.

"You're trying to say something bad about my girlfriend, your jerk?" He smiles. "Because if you are, I think I have to beat you up."

"Try it, bro", I answer and grin at him.

"By the way, should we beat up that Warbler-kid?" He asks again.

We're standing up to leave our food dishes.

"Nope, don't think so", I answer.

"Sure on that? I mean, Kurt would probably be happy."

"He would probably hate me more then everything. He still loves Blaine."

"How do you know?" Puck demands to know. "Don't say that you have had a heart-to-heart with another dude!"

"I'm having it with you all the time?" I say and raise my eyebrows in his direction.

"That's another thing! I'm not gay!" He says and leaves his plate and glass to the dinner-lady. I do the same. "Don't say that you had a sleep-over with him."

"How did you know?"

"Well, you always want to have sleep-overs after you have had serious talks."

"You know me to good", I sigh. "Well, we had a sleep-over. God damn, we live in the same house, it wasn't so bad. He just happened to fall asleep in my bed."

"You could have carried him to his own bed."

"Well, I didn't have the heart to do that. He was sad, ok? He was crying like mom does on the year-day of dad's death."

"That's bad, dude", Puck admits. "Well, I guess it's fine. I'm just not so amused of the picture on you and Kurt sleeping in the same bed. I mean, he have been in love with you once, remember?"

I laugh.

"Puck, that was a long time ago."

"Still!" He says and shakes his head.

We walk down the corridor and outside the building. Puck takes up a packet of cigarettes from one of his big amount of pockets.

"Care to share?" I ask and he handles the packet to me.

I actually don't smoke. But when Puck does it, and enjoys every single drag, it seems so easily that I don't like to stand without.

"Rachel don't like that I smoke", he suddenly says, breathing out in the hot air. "I really couldn't care less, but it would be sad if she broke up with me, wouldn't it?"

"It would", I answer. "I mean, she's crazy and will immediately dump you if she get into NYADA, but she's a nice company."

"She's good in bed", Puck simplifies.

"Yeah", I answer. "Not that I have so much to compare against, but, yeah."

"I have", he says. "She _is_ good."

He stubs out his cigarette against the wall and looks at me.

"Not done yet? Seriously, boy, you have to learn to power-smoke."

I end the cigarette on the ground and follow Puck into the school again.

"What the hell is 'power-smoke'?" I ask.

"When you smoke so quickly that you have time to run to class after a cigarette."

I laugh at him and run after him to the math-class. Puck isn't so often at the lessons. Not just the math-lessons, no, it's them all – he is overall not present so much. Puck will be stuck here too. I mean, he's good at football, but so am I, and I didn't get any scholarship. He will not get that either. We will probably be that kind of guys that's been best friends since high school and have beers together at Saturday nights while our kids running around and doing all that stuff we did when we were young (play football, in Puck's case: get girls pregnant, in my case: have sleep-overs with gay brothers).

"Mr. Puckerman and Mr. Hudson, I guess that you have a good explanation to your lateness?" Our math teacher yells at us when we step inside the room.

Our math teacher is a man who yells way too much. Sometimes I find myself holding my hands to protect my ears from his "y + 4,59 = TELL ME NOW YOU GODFORSAKEN KIDS!"-yell. That's the scream he mostly does.

"Well, aren't you happy to finally see me?" Puck asks and smiles charming.

"SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET, MR. PUCKERMAN. And for you, Mr. Hudson, I had expected more."

We sit down and I look around in the classroom just to see Kurt right behind me. Finally!


End file.
